Archive for May, 2007

sure

When i was little, i was sure of what i would become. A computer programming guru. From the first moment i got a commodore 64 in my hands i knew my destiny was to be linked with it.

My life choices for the next decade was to reflect this surity. I got the unofficial title of ‘computer genious’ within the family and the community. In addition, I became the troubleshooter of choice to go to whenever someone had any troubles with their PC. This was even before i reached intermediate.

Then came the choice for university degree. Everyone around me entered in Computer Science because it was the ‘in thing’. For me, it was a natural continuation of my passion. I wanted to know what made a computer tick, and how could i make it dance to my tunes. So naturally, where many had to strive, to strugge and toil, i breezed through. Knowing a computer system was like knowing the back of my hand. It didn’t matter what language i was dealing with, whether it be Java, C or C++ it was just a different beat. I had the music down pat.

As i came closer to graduation however, that was when the unsurity crept in. For the first time in my life, i was unsure if being a programming guru was really what i wanted. I had seen greener pastures within the software industry. Suddenly, programming wasn’t the only thing which made a software development firm tick. It needed management! I started learning of all the computer projects which had failed over the years, massive ones, millions of dollars down the drain, all because they weren’t managed correctly. It occurred to me that it didn’t matter how good a programmer you were, eventually you would hit a ceiling if you didn’t have management skills. Till now, thats how the industry had functioned, they picked people from among the ranks, raised them up to titles of Team Lead or Project Manager and they assumed that these people had delivered enough projects to know how to manage. In time, you would gather enough knowledge to break the barrier into an architect or a consultant, into an area where knowledge was king and work involved passing the knowledge over. But this took almost 5 to 10 years!

I couldn’t wait that long, i wouldn’t wait that long. Why follow the trail left behind by others? In a seminar at the university i heard someone say, if you want to succeed in life, you had to make your own trail. I always wondered how one did that and i kept on wondering till i met the person who would change my life, once again.

He came in the form of a teacher, giving lessons in the art of Software Quality Assurance. From the first class i attended, i there was something about him, that he would give me the break i needed into making my career. Six months later, the break came. I went to him for a job and he hired me, as a process improvement consultant!

That day, i was sure i had started out on my destiny. I would be performing consulting work within the sphere of software process improvement. Today, i once again stand at an unsurity. Going further away from what i had intended, taking a step into a field which hasn’t even begun to take roots in the country.

Thats what life is, being un-sure at each and every instant, scrambling to bring it under control.

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you

you have been my inspiration
you have been my guide
you have been my reality check
and you have been my support.

Now matter where i go in the world, no matter in what success i get, i know you will always be there to guide me, to keep me above all else and to be the one loving caring person when everything will fail.

I love you mom! And i’m grateful for each and everyday i’ve ever gotten.

*a belated mothers day post as well as a belated wednesday wandering blogword*

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City hopping

Over the last two weeks, i’ve been city hopping. Going b/w karachi, lahore, islamabad and murree. Its been amazing! Some has been work, some has been vacation, and some has been just plain good fun.

I have also lost the writing acumen again! Either its because i’m busy, distracted or jus suffering from a writers block is something to be seen. But its gone… almost. I have so much to write about for this trip, yet…. somehow cannot manage to put it to words.

And i’ve got two tags and almost 8 blogwords now to complete! Better get to it… later y’all.

p.s.
This post was forced, beause i needed to get back in the ‘groove’. It was not meant to be readable or complaining. :)

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Change is good?

This ends (?) my sojourn away from the blogworld, while i tried figuring out some major changes in my life. 

I want so much out of life, and mashallah i’ve got so much, yet i want more, and i want different. Maybe i’m being ‘ahsan faramosh’, or basically just being confused but there is one thing i know, i’m not happy where/what i am anymore.

I’ve discovered new areas about myself, new avenues of my likes/dislikes and new conditions i’ve developed.

But right now what i’m smelling in the air is change.. its about to descend.. and its about to ruin the ‘comfort zone’ i’ve created in my life…

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