you win some…
Posted by mansoor on 05 Jun 2007 | Tagged as: heart 2 heart
and you defer some, but you hardly ever loose some.
Know what i’m talking about? Cuz if you do, please let me know too.
In my life, there are not many things that i regret, some of which are those which i haven’t done. I haven’t gone bungee jumping yet! That’s something in the pipeline.. just need to get access to a very high tower… hhhmm….
One of the things i really regret was having severred connections to an old friend. Someone, who was the sister i never had. Why did i love her so much? So much so that i never felt romantically towards her, yet always had a strong urge to protect her. It was simple, she reminded me that life wasn’t really a bunch of points you had to adhere to, that you could do wonders while not trying at all, and you could remain bubbly and cheerful even if your heart wasn’t in it. That it was sometimes, the best gift you could ever give to someone. From her i learned why it is usually required for a girl to be graceful, groomed, presentable and well mannered. And from her, i realized what it was like to actually have fun!
But it was a terrible time for me back then, being attacked from all fronts (home, university, friends, family and girlfriend). All supports which were supposed to keep me propped upright, facing the world were crumbling, and in the typical self destructive fashion i had led my life uptil then (and till more recently now), i lashed out at whatever supports i had left. She was one of them. I knew I was doing wrong, i knew i was going to regret it, but also i thought it might be the right thing. I thought up of all the reasons i could to make myself believe to the contrary, 1)it might be the best thing for her, 2)that she was being too dependant on me, 3)that she needs to setup her own life. Reasons i later realized, i had no part in the first place. I ended our friendship on a very terrible note, i became the very person i detested, i became the monster, the player, the fiend and the liar, all to make her hate me and leave me.
which she did.
And i’ve never been the same again.
So what prompted me to write this post now? Because after a long time, i saw her again this weekend, saw her laugh, all cheery and bubbly as always and I saw her dance. At that moment, i realized that she was happy again. She had friends and she had a future to look forward to. It was heart-warming, and gut-wrenching, all at the same time.
I miss her dance.. hell! i miss her!
and this, ladies and gentlemen, is the only thing in life that i ever regret! Never, ever, choose someone you love over your friend. Its the worst mistake you can ever make in your life.
‘choose someone you love over your friend.’ Very true. Kinda made a similar mistake when getting engaged to my ex (err…you know what I mean), though maybe not to such a close friend as you are describing. But I later realized I gave up a good friend for a jerk who left me anyway. So yeah…never going to do that again. Besides whoever loves you better accept your friends too.
Sorry again, Mansoor.
interesting…i second that….however, i chose 2 of my best friends (and family) over the jerk that came into my life recently. i chose my friends in a heart beat…yet they r the very people who r not there for me right now….who r hurting me. On the other hand, those friends whom i didnt choose over the jerk r the ones who are staying with me right now…..so it just doesnt end there mansoor…not just chosing…that;s the start of things……the outcomes can be unpredictable. nevertheless, i m glad that ur friend is happy and at peace now……and be happy that u woud hopefully wont make that mistake again……
in a long run, we are all gonna die. Just chilax!
sk: why the incessant sorries?
tanzila: hhmm.. outcomes are almost always unpredictable!
umar: lolzz! very aptly put dude! lolz!
Arre bhai…sorry that you lost a friend.
‘in a long run, we are all gonna die’ lol…hmmm..YEAH ASIF!! Hmph!
I agree with Tanzilla. The outcome of ur choices are unpredictible.
Been there, felt it, and still feeling it.
I can write a whole essay on this subject with different views and how it effected my life. but hell.. remember.
The choices u made then, and all the things passed through ur life, its formed u to the person ur right now.
So learn and move on.
Joyce
there is only one very simple justification - love is blind
we’ve all been in that situation, where we’ve had to make choices
and we oft are so scared of losing out on what we hope would be the love of our lives, that we fumble and chose our significant others…
I’ve done it, not proud of it..
But Alhamdolillah, at the end of the day,
my friends have still come through for me..
kinda fortunate, dont you think?
sk:
joyce: thats precisely what im doing now :p
batty: ur quite fortunate girl! quite quite fortunate!
sighhhhh…am at a loss of words….sp whn i try to figure out if i was chosen over someone - for my own good - or that i just dint cut it
life’s a bitch….full of murphy’s laws…..u want everything - yet we cant have everything…..im all over the place….i better shut up :S