settling back n moving on
Posted by mansoor on 09 Jul 2007 | Tagged as: heart 2 heart
after over a month of continuous travels, im finally settling back down to life in karachi. Maybe not for much longer, who knows, but atleast here for the foreseeable future.
Now that i have had time to think, i realized i have still not gotten over the shock of my dad almost leaving us… In the past few days since i’ve come back to the city, i’ve been eating like a madman! Heavy breakfast, lunch and dinner, which numerous snacks in between. I couldn’t figure out why i was so hungry, till i remembered the last time i was eating so much! Its my body’s natural reaction towards stress. Some people cant sleep, others get hyper and start shouting… i eat!
It was when i watched Greys Anatomy night before last that i finally realized i still hadn’t recovered from the dad shock. In an episode where Meredith Grey almost drowned, she had to be brought into the surgery wing of the hospital where she worked, with the top surgeons trying to revive her from the grip of hypothermia. All this while her boyfriend and friends stood outside, praying.. hoping.. crying.. and yet not wanting to believe this could happen. As the one hour twenty minute double episode played out in front of me on the screen, quite a different storyline was playing in front of my eyes. I was once again transported back to those two times, when mom called, and when the doc asked us to pray because they dont know what is going to happen, to the hallways of that hospital, the CCU and Angiography ward, holding on to mom trying to soothe her, when all i wanted was to breakdown too, it was all playing right back!
And it was in that instant that i realized, i really hadn’t gotten over the shock yet, that it hasn’t really had time to sink in…
Right now, i know i have to move on from the incident. God has been very kind and dad is still here. Nothing is lost, a lot of life yet to live out under their guidance.. but i cant seem to warp out that fear yet. I cant talk to my family about it obviously, since i have to be the support, the pillar and what not, its hard…
… but atleast now, i dont have to go through it alone. I have her, the goofy smile she brings to my face and the support she’s become for me. If nothing else, she’ll make sure i pull through… *drifting off to sweet sweet memories…..*
I guess I went through a similar phase with my mom’s very critical illness, and a couple of months down the line with her Alhumdullillah fine it seems as if that episode never came in my life.
And having someone by your side whilst you go through the downsides in life is the GREATEST blessing ever
Glad everything is better now
foreseeable future? going somewhere/?
babe, dont you worry,
things will be fine ..Inshallah!
the only way you’ll come past that shock is to spend more time with ur dad
make a few trips to see him every now and then…
Also, use this warning sign as a blessing -
i know i have, specially with my dad
since his scare, i’ve made an effort to appreciate him more,
realised how much he means
sure, im not perfect, tempers flare every once in a way
but deep down, we all know we love our parents from the CORE of our beings….
i agree with mayya, having a person who comes thru for u and gives u moral support is very very important
ps. HOuse tends to shock me the way grey’s anatomy shocks u..
but there are times, when i need to remind meself, that is drama
and there is a vast difference between life and drama
so everytime u get the munchie, stop, and ask urself why u wanna eat..
write ur feelings out - find other ways of catharsis-
i tend to eat when im stressed too, so i know how destructive it is
Glad to hear your father is doing well. All the best to you and your family.
Dee
It’ s hard to just ‘let go’ when you have been through what you have, mansoor. But with time the memories will fade. Glad you have someone to talk to and to be there.
And batty is right about the warning being a blessing’ and ‘visit your dad more, spend more time with your parents’….
he he in my case the reverse happens…i just don’t feel like eating nething when i’m stressed out and once it happened to the extent that my family took me to the laboratory to get my LFT done….they were afraid that the improper functioning of liver cud be the reason behind my not feeling hungry but the tests came to be fine Alhamdulilah…it was just that i was too tense those days
Oh…and mansoor…eating so much when you know your family history….not a good idea.