The Word of mAn[S]o0r

and it still feels as surreal as it did then.

Life has changed. totally, completely and for the better. My attitude towards life has changed, with her representing a major shift in how i approach it in the first place. For the first time in my life, i’ve actually “wanted” something.. wanted someone, i’ve actually known beforehand consciously, and not merely analyzed and accepted later.

on 9/9 this year, i got engaged to the lovely Ms. Batool Habib, the love of my life, and the one person im truly proud to call “my better half”

Today, i write about what happened, how she has become truly my universe, and my source of motivation. Following are snippets of conversation which lead upto the event… i hope they will allow you to follow the story in a much more engaging manner. The time line is deliberately missing from this piece, but to give you an overview, the following events occurred in the span of 5 days.

–

“so when will you take me to meet her?” asked my mother two days into her trip to karachi. “don’t make it too late, things always come up during the end of a trip you know.”
“soon mom, let me just confirm the availabilities.” i replied, thinking just how will i make this happen, especially since i hadn’t told her mom was in town.

–

“i want you to meet someone” i told her later that night
“who?” she asked, with a little apprehension
“someone really close to me”
“your cousin?”
“no…” thinking how best to break the news… “u know what i refer to his mother as?”
“yes, bari ammi…….” voice trailing off, thinking i was talking crazy…..
“yea… so just cut off the bari” a strange smile filtered its way to my lips, anticipating her response.. but as with all things her, being totally blowed away by it.
“WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! are you serious??!!!!” … “no.. no… no! this cannot be happening! you did not just spring this on me!!!” … “are you crazy!” serious shrieking followed for the next couple of hours… no, im not kidding, it was actually a couple of hours!

–

“mom, batool… batool, meet my mother (and your future mother in law, i mouthed)” i introduced them two days later, at the spot we ourselves had first laid eyes on each other.. the irony of the place not lost on either of us
“hello aunty, so nice to finally meet you” all traces of nervousness gone, everything we had gone over the night before all pulled off perfectly!
twenty minutes into the conversation, i find both of them chatting together like old school buddies, talking and sharing everything under the sun! two hours later go by, and it seems like just a moment had passed before her mother comes to pick her up. We leave the cafe… my mom deciding to walk her down since its not proper to let a girl go off alone.
.
.
and then the two women met, the mothers… 45 minutes later, we’re still standing below the cafe, looking on in disbelief as the mothers gel, restraining ourselves greatly from just screaming and dancing at how well it was going.

–

“hello, is this shabana?”
“yes”
“hi, this is tabassum”
“hello! how are you!”
followed by minutes of polite conversation….
“we were wondering if we could come to your place for a visit tomorrow, just to get to know each other a bit better?”
“sure! that would be lovely! what time would you like to come?”
“in the evening, say 5ish”
“sounds great!”

–

“so what time do you want me to come with you guys” i asked mom, while they were preparing to go visit batool’s place.
“what do you mean? you’re not needed anymore beta, we already have your answer, we’ll take it from here” she replied as i looked on incredulously.
“you.. you mean the biggest decision of my life being taken without me even being present?” i managed to stammer out..
“yes” she replied, smiling at the distress visible on my face.. no doubt enjoying herself thoroughly

–

“so how’d it go?” i asked as soon as they were out of batool’s place.
“very well actually! they’re a very nice family, and the nani is absoultely adorable” my mother replied and then went on about telling me about how delightful the whole evening was. twenty minutes later she said..
“did you talk to batool yet by the way?”
“umm.. no, not yet, she isn’t picking up my calls” my curiosity instantly pricked
“well, we’ve put in the rishta, didn’t want to delay it any further” right then, i felt something pop.. so much was the force of emotion which swept over me. i actually had to pull the car over just to calm down…
“what.. what did they say” i stammered out after taking a deep breath
“they said they’ll let us know in a couple of days”

–

the next couple of days were overshadowed by tension, apprehension and emotional ups and downs, as even the tiniest of events looked threatening enough to derail the whole process. investigations were sent out on each of the families, what were they like, anything the other should know about, any skeletons which needed to be bared. As the results started coming in, the initial impression both had of each other was strengthened, that this would indeed be a good union. In three days, the verdict was in, once again, the mothers got in touch.

–

“hello, is this tabassum?” came the voice on the phone
“yes, this is tabassum, who’s this?” not recognizing the number
“hi, this is shabana” her mother replied
“hello, how are you” followed by some more pleasantries
“im just calling to let you know, that we’ve deliberated, and have decided to accept your proposal.” said her mother a little into the conversation, with no amount hesitation showing, i learned later “how about we decide how to proceed?”

–

“hi sweety!” came her sweet voice over the phone saturday morning. “i guess you’ve heard the good news”
“not really, in a meeting right now, so didn’t really have a chance to get to talk to mom” i replied, wondering what had transpired behind my back since 3 AM last night to 10 AM this morning….
“oh, okay.. no biggie.. i was just informed my mother-in-law to be is coming to pick me up and we’re going to go shopping for my engagement clothes!” she said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world
.
.
a minute later, the shrieking started!

–

the mothers had decided, in their wisdom, to speed things up and do a full fletched engagement ceremony, complete with decorated garden, stage and caterers, in less than 30 hours!

Trackback URI | Comments RSS