epiphany - the cause of resentment
Posted by mansoor on 09 May 2008 | Tagged as: lifes anomaly's
Day before yesterday, while watching an episode of House (i love that show!) a scene between wilson and his latest girl, amber, caused me to have an epiphany.
the dialogs exchanged were something of the following, after a major decision of purchasing a mattress, amber wanted the hard one while wilson wanted the soft one and just as they were coming to decision amber had to leave and told wilson to get whatever one he wanted. later that night, while ‘test driving’ their new mattress…
amber: “you got the one i wanted”
wilson: “yes, i did”
amber: “why?”
wilson: “what do you mean?”
amber: “i told you to get which ever one you wanted, i meant which ever one you wanted, not get what i wanted”
wilson: “so? i like doing this for you, i love you”
amber: “no, this is what you did with your previous wives, you keep on doing things for them and the resentment keeps building up inside you, till you end up in a divorce! i’ll be damned if this happened to me too”
and just like that i realized why so many of my relationships ended on the same note… i, like wilson, kept doing everything for the other person and around the other person, literally loosing myself in them. i kept building up this expectation in them that everything i would do would be for them without question. until i burst from having an unfulfilled expectation within me that they would do something for me… which is where the resentment would start to build up…
and after days, months or even years of resentment… the feelings of love and tenderness would turn cold and replaced with something very close to hatred…
… who said watching TV shows wasn’t therapeutic!
if u could stretch my arms around my TV, i would hug it hard, it’s my friend, my therapy, the love of my life…and cable wala is my enemy for turning off show series 1 & 1 and TV land and putting on those blasted desi news channels
i meant * if i could
hehe tanzila! you and me both girl.. you and me both!
hmmmmmm… so that’s what’s going on???
hmmmmm….:)
Check FB and reply or ….
unaiza: i did! i did
i knwo where ur coming from my friend .. i do
and then there’s that crap ppl rant abt “unconditional love” - “shud not expecting anything” …….. crap! all crap i tell ya! we’re only human..when we do something for the good of the other…its only but natural to expect soemtihng back innit! sheeeshh mansoor! ur posts are seriously dragging me for a re-run of my relationship breakdown!