The Word of mAn[S]o0r

My fiance started off on a little project of her own, and well… what can I say! She inspires me! So here goes, another attempt at resurrecting what I thought I had lost…. The art of storytelling.

This piece is about a little boy, trapped inside the shell of man who is just coming into his own. His life, always planned, yet always breaking out of them when he least expects it, is just another story we keep hearing about.. the trials and tribulations of growing up.

‘what the hell are we going to tell our parents?!’ he sighed. Taking a long drag from the cigarette in his hands, he puffed out the smoke, staring at the intricate designs it made in the wind, willing it to give him the answer.
‘what they always told us I guess, that we weren’t good enough’ his friend replied, dejected by the cards life had dealt them.

It hadn’t always been like this, but lately things were not going as planned. The intermediate board result was out, and somehow, they had managed to pass each and every subject! The only problem was, the percentage they got was even lower than the guy who had failed in three! They had been away from home since morning, hiding out till when they had to go back home to their respective parents, to be dealt with dissapoinment, despair and punishment.

They did try looking at the bright side, that they had passed and were going to get to the next grade, but that side didn’t seem as bright anymore. Ridicule, from their parents, their families, their friends and even future interviewers was what awaited them in the life after that moment. This was what they were warned against. For two years, it was all they were told. The grade meant everything! It would be permanently plastered in their records, to be brought up at every interview, every promotion and even at every party they would ever attend. The Intermediate grade was what defined the future for a guy in Pakistan. And that was precisely what they had screwed up.

‘what did we do wrong? WHAT!!!!!’ he yelled to no one at particular. The previous year running in front of his eyes like a horror movie. Months of preparation, of spending un-ending days in the library, at tutions, nights at group study sessions, reciting each and every word on each and every page like it was the holy book, and yet, it wasn’t good enough.

‘In the end, we must do as God wills us my friend’ his friend consoled him, lighting up yet another smoke from a fast emptying packet by their side. Being the more religiously inclined between them, he chose to let God decide his fate in life, yet the dissapointment wasn’t far from his eyes either. This wasn’t the first time he felt God had betrayed him, and little did he know, it wouldn’t be the last.

‘I cant do it man! I cant repeat first year, not from the same college! Its too humiliating!’ he cried out, his pain reflecting in every word uttered out of his mouth. Infact, it wasn’t his humiliation he was worried out. He was the first born! The pride and joy of his family. Coming from a long line of A-graders, he was the one who scored a D! Humiliation wasn’t him being told he’s not good enough, humiliation was his family being looked down upon! His father scorned by his peers, his grandfather having to lower his eyes in shame whenever his doting grandsons’ academics were brought up. This was what was eating up inside of him, this is what he had worked to avoid! And yet……

‘we don’t have to repeat yaar, we passed, we still get to go on towards second year….’ His friend, desperately trying to look for any sign of silver lining, replied. Still go on? Was he serious? Still go on for WHAT? Sure! We’d graduate, but then what? Did he think we could get in a good university? Did he think we might still salvage our futures? Our lives? It was ruined! There was no hope! Admission to a good university was no longer on the table, and after that, what was the point?

‘how could this have happened……. How? when we did everything we were supposed to! We gave it all that we had… what did we miss? what!!!!!!!!!!!’ he was still going around in the same circle, not being able to come to terms with his fading future… he wasn’t man enough for that yet.

‘why?’ …

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And the slogan of the campaign isn’t off the mark at all.

I had the pleasure of attending the startup insiders session, arranged jointly by Green and White and PASHA, and event which i was waiting for at least two weeks. Why? Because its exciting! The idea that the people present, presidents and CEO’s of major organizations were at one time where we are today, and that we too might join their ranks one day. And better yet, we have their brains to pick now!

The event expected 15 to 20 people. After the phenomenal success of the Karachi event, the expectations were raised to around 70 or so, At 6:20, we had a full room, with people standing in the aisle, and the number of participants being 100+. Not a bad turnout for the sleepy city of Islamabad.

The event was scheduled as a series of questions and answers from a panel of six successful entrepreneurs, and we got right down to them. From how to set a vision, how to know if your vision is even correct, how select a team, who to have in a team, and ups and downs of a writing a business plan, the event covered a large majority of concerns budding entrepreneurs have.

The most important lessons i learned in this session were the following

1. Have a right mix of skills within the founders team.
2. Its just as important to have the right sense of who to hire, than the sense of building the product to keep the startup going.
3. Build the product first, get it working, get customers and then get funding.
4. Business plan is a good thing when you have long term ideas. However, its never written in stone and acts more as a guide throughout your startup process than a series of commandments. It will mostly be rewritten at various points and becomes a living document of sorts.
5. Passion is the most important ingredient a startup founder needs to have.
6. Rally your team against something more substantial than money. Otherwise, braving the inevitable storms become harder.

And the funniest (and most hard hitting) lessons

1. Startup founders hardly get any sleep.
2. For a balanced work and family life, include your spouse in your startup!

There were quite a bit more insights shared in the forum, these were just the ones which stuck to me.

The audience were also really a good mix, from students, to budding entrepreneurs, to those who had already taken the plunge and were now heading companies of their own. Again, who knew that within the sleepy city of Islamabad, such activities were taking place.

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Life is a wonderful thing. Its full of twists and turns! A complete roller coaster ride right from start to end!

Too bad i get motion sickness :S

Lately, life has seen me move to Islamabad, take up a twist in my career which i didn’t see coming, move in back with my parents after a gap of nearly a year and a half, and overall threatening to take me out of my ‘comfort zone’ every time it can.

However, i cant really be certain if its actually ‘pushing’ me out of it, or ‘pulling me’ towards it. Somehow, things i never thought i’d do seem to come naturally to me? How strange is that!?

I might sound confused above, that generally because i am confused right now. From what i hear, this confusion is here to stay for another 20 years or so.. might as well get used to it.

Oh well, here’s to yet another twist!

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“I’m moving to lahore, accepted a job offer there and after completing my notice period in karachi.. will fly out”

That way in May 2007. Since then, i met the love of my life, an opportunity at work which i didn’t even think would be possible, and a chance to be closer to parents in Islamabad. A month later, the lahore offer tanked, and i was still left in karachi…

The new offer saw me moving to Islamabad to October, or so i thought. As soon as October rolled around, i got a project at work which required me to be in Karachi. So the trip was delayed.

The new date was in November….

On 14 November, after numerous consultations with everyone around me on the best way to move, i was informed by my office that the reason i was going to shift early, a new business opportunity, was delayed… my stay in karachi had just been extended to 18th December.

By now, the move was a standing joke, with most of my friends considering that i had already shifted and more and more people were continuously surprised to see me around the city. Many thought i had come back on business trips or was just visiting. Little did they know….

The 18th December date, however, was not to be either. The project was not yet finished, and i needed more time, so Dec 31st was selected as the date.

Then the bhutto incident happened, and we lost almost 4 to 6 working days because of that. This time i even had a confirmed ticket for the 31st, which i had to have postponed.

The next date i got was 13th January. Determined to make it this time, i completed all i had left there. Luckily, even my viva was completed (which deserves another post in itself), and i didn’t have anything to hold me back….

Till the morning of Jan 13th, i was waiting for some other thing to happen, something which would again postpone the event…. but it didn’t come. I started packing at 2 AM for a flight at 10 AM, was done by 4 and almost dropping from exhaustion.

And then i slept.. after setting a multitude of alarms ofcourse. The sleep was disturbed at best, but the alarms didn’t work still, she called over 20 times, i answered 7 and promptly slept on her.. (it was hilarious, atleast to her and so im safe).

So after waking up at 9:40, going out of my mind that i’ve almost missed the flight, leaving home in under 10 minutes and reaching the airport a minute after the deadline for check-in, i entered the airport apprehensive. The girl at the counter, looks over to her supervisor, asking the dreaded question “should i process this? he’s past his time and i’ve closed the counter”. I look at the supervisor, for what seemed like an hour, waiting for her response… in reality, it took only a second, a quick nod, followed by the affirmation “yes, yes, process it! i haven’t sent the stats yet” saved what would’ve been a very embarrassing, not to mention a very expensive event.

Thus begins the new life, in Islamabad.  Now, im waiting for her to come and join me, and to make this life a lot more exciting.

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like a house of cards, things come tumbling down and you’re left wondering..

what the fuck happened!

its 11:25, and i’ve had four strikes already.. what else can go wrong today, i wonder!?

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Happy new year all!

2008 comes with new hope and new promises, but it also promises to bring about a transformation for the better.

Looking back at 2007, it was a year with mixed events. Had some of the best mini vacations, infact, the only mini vacations i’ve ever had, in this year, with a trip to sukker right at the start, followed by trips to Islamabad, Lahore, Murree, Bhurban amid others. A long chapter in my life closed down, put to an end after a long drawn out drama. A drama which had me on the brink of a nervous breakdown, following emotional and physical outbursts, amid other tantrums. It did, however, make me realize exactly what it was i wanted in life, so it wasn’t all bad. Another chapter which began this year was family drama, where star plus serials took on a real life with characters too close to my heart.

Another feature of 2007 was how many times it made me see the inside of a hospital. From both sets of grandparents, to my chachi, cousin and the most awful of all, my father, to myself and a close friend, hospital visits became almost a sickening part of ‘normal’ life. I hope, and i pray, i never have to go through that again.

My father was awarded the Sitara-e-Imtiaz (Military) this year. One of the higher awards conferred on  people for services rendered in the line of duty by the President of Pakistan. That was definitely a high point in life.

But then, she happened, the true high point in my life. From humble beginnings at a poetry reading, after i had come back to get my things, having accepted an offer of employment in Lahore, to a fabulous one-day-notice engagement a few months later, having turned down the lahore offer and staying on in Karachi since now i had a better offer at my current workplace, to the numerous highs i’ve received each day i’m with her, she’s the perfect embodiment of what i ever hoped and prayed a partner to be. She’s managed to enchant whoever she’s met so far, even making older generations forget an ultimate incident and welcome us back with open arms, a smile, and a dua. Magical creature she is, weaving her magical smiles in our lives, with her little wand and pixie dust, making herself home with people and places i never thought possible.

Yes, 2007 was a mixed plate. But now that i look back at, it wasn’t all bad.

A countdown has begun. A countdown to the change of our status from singles to doubles, a day i await with much longing.

Welcome 2008!~

Note:  I’ve purposely left out any/everything related to the recent incidents in Pakistan, as i believe many others have done justice to it, and i cannot add anything of value other than ranting about it. 

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Whirlwinds! Cyclones! Typhoons even!

That’s how life can be characterized in the past week. If five months ago, i thought life was hard, trying to balance family, fun and work, that was peanuts compared to what goes on now.

Between her, both sets of parents, the dawats, the get togethers, the breakfasts, lunches and dinners, and the welcoming and farewells, work seems to be a distant reality.

Dad flew in at 5 AM on Eid day from a business trip to Germany. Talk about cutting it close! The morning was pretty traditional till namaz and breakfast, which was with dada. But afterwards became an Eid which was never even possible a couple of years ago. Qurbani at nani’s, lunch at home, followed by dinner at my nani-sas!

If that was not enough, picture all of that while deep in the recesses of flue! It was a very different Eid no doubt.

Dad stayed on for five days, and i seriously have no idea where the days went. With the fiance, the in-laws, the parents and the nanial, it all became very surreal. Today, here i am, sitting at work, thinking what the hell just happened, and through the major headache, caused by excessive coughing, i still smile.

I see her smile, and her eyes, and i know what i knew the day i met her.

I’m smitten!

Belated Eid Mubarak to all!
Merry Christmas to all followers of the Christian faith!
And Peace and prosperity to all humanity!

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The day before, by the grace of God, and the duas of my parents and beloved, i achieved another milestone my career. My first solo open enrollment executive training course. The boss is in Dubai, and didn’t approve any of the material, the venue nor my execution strategy. This was all my own doing. Well, not the venue, that was the marketing team.

Hurray 4 me!!

During november, my boss called me up and asked “how would you feel about giving a full day course on your own?” i swear my heart rate right then and there tripled! I was waiting for this moment for such a long time it wasn’t even funny! and to finally hear the words! As nonchalantly as i could, i replied, “i think im ready for it. conducting it wont be the problem, as long as i have administrative support”.

And that was that. A course was scheduled in December, and the marketing team given directions to ensure full participation. From the moment it was launched, there was good response. In the days leading up to the actual course, i got daily updates on who’s coming and who’s not. Even a friend from lahore called me up, saying he was sending one person from his organization to it. Ofcourse, im not sure he knows i was giving it in the first place. On the last day, we had to close registrations because we were exceeding capacity! All in all, i had 22 delegates from software houses, banking, pharmaceutical and the oil and gas industries, ranging from engineers to vice presidents! It was one hell an experience.

The fateful day started with me getting up at 5! and then sleeping again, finally to wake up around 7. After getting dressed and bumping my brother off the bed, we were on our way at 8 towards his workplace, and then the hotel. I entered the designated hall and was taken aback. Our marketing team had done a terrific job in acquiring the place. It was large, spacious and well lit, plus had direct access to the poolside ;). We got the training materials ready, me and the marketing manager from my company, who was there in a dual role, both to lend administrative support as well as gauge my performance. The first participant entered the hall at 9, a girl from one of our local software houses. Scheduled to start at 9:30, we were almost full attendance by 9:15. People were surprisingly punctual. I started making small talk with the delegates, on various topics related to the course, and finally at 9:25, a full five minutes before the actual time, started with the course. The last person to enter came at 9:32 and from there we went full steam ahead.

After doing the usual introductions, of the company, the course, myself and each of the participants, i started off with the first module, and completed it in under 20 minutes. Panic started settling in. The first module and the introductions were supposed to take almost 1.5 HOURS, i had it done in under 45 minutes!~ This was not good, people weren’t talking, weren’t discussing, and it was not a good sign. I shifted strategies, realigned their expectations and their understanding of the rules and regulations (which included full participation during each aspect of the course) and then sparked a discussion. Slowly, people started volunteering information, hesitantly asking questions, all the while i had to coax them into believing it was for their own good and for the good of the course. The next section, which i had to start up after the first tea break, was actually finished well before it. My course execution plan was in shambles and that’s when survival instincts set in. Till lunch, i had slowed down the pace of the course considerably, integrating discussions and questions throughout, till i slowly started getting a grip on where it was heading.

At precisely 1 PM, we broke for lunch. The timings, so far, were going like clockwork. People are forgiving if you mess up the teaching schedule, but they don’t forgive you if you take two minutes extra from their lunch time. Thankfully, they didn’t have to forgive me, instead, at precisely 2 PM all of them were seated back in the room for resumption of the course, without even being asked to! Something which i have not seen in quite sometime, and something for which i was thankful to the Almighty.

After a little more theory, i executed the first and only exercise of the course, an exercise i had designed myself, surprisingly which came to me almost in a dream. Well, not almost, it did. I woke up in the middle of the night a few days ago with this whole scenario in my head, jotted it down somewhat, and went back to sleep. Even i was surprised as to how it all happened. While the exercise was scheduled for half hour, we were so ahead of schedule, that i made the discussion go up a full hour. This is where most of the post lunch ’suroor’ (siesta time) we tend to get into was shaken off. There was fire in the group, indignation at being wrong, assertions that their way was the right way, until one of the most senior members of the group, a VP from a prominent bank of the country, recounted what it meant to be taught best practices. People calmed down, we proceeded with the exercise and completed it successfully.

Then came the last two sections after the tea break, by now, most of the material had already been thought, my legs felt like jelly everytime i had to take a step. since i had not sat down since 8 in the morning, and i could feel the cheek muscles struggle to remain in a smile, yet i had to go on. Indeed, during the tea break, i actually took off towards the pool side, and did a few stretching exercises :p it was so Japanese! These two sections were simply breezed through. The participants didn’t ask anything, and i didn’t volunteer much. I knew it would ruin my ratings, a performance appraisal we get at the end of the course by the participants, but i felt i had achieved all i could. This is one part i still need to work on though.

The course ended at 5:15, a full 15 minutes before schedule, and after the feedback forms were completed, everyone had LEFT the hall by 5:30! A resounding success as far as the timings were concerned.

The gratification, however, was the ending. Just as people were leaving, many of them lined up, shook my hand, and complimented me on a well done presentation. I had won the approval and admiration of this group. I was ecstatic! Here i was, a 25 year old, standing in front of people with 15+ years of experience, teaching them and coming away with a compliment. What more can a guy ask for.

The feather in my cap, however, was a line in one of the feedback forms. When asked how we can improve further, the response was

Thankyou God, for your blessing and your kindness and your grace. Amen!

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So i love playing tambola, i recently realized.

Its not so much about the excitement or the pace of the game, but rather its about the quality time i get to spend with her. Small jokes, food, drinks and crossing off numbers. While on one hand, we’re the only youngsters there, with a majority of people being over 50, it does make me feel kinda old, but hey, one only has to be young at heart no?

My interest in tambola began early in childhood, thanks to navy function’s at the unit’s my dad was posted at. Often enough, there would a family evening of BBQ and tambola, and i get to play and be all excited. I guess going now just brings back those memories and makes me feel excited again.

The connection with her was totally astounding. For years, i’ve been searching for people who’d like to go play, since i didn’t have it in me to go alone. Since there was no one, i didn’t touch a tambola card for years. Then i discover, my in-laws love it, so much so, that they go twice a week, once to gymkhana and once to karachi club, every week! You can imagine how excited i was when I was asked to join them the first time! Apprehensive as well, but excited too.

And the fun thing is, they win as well! Yesterday, my FIL won Rs. 600 in two separate cards! My MIL won lucky draws twice in the last three weeks and even i won one game last week. How’s that for excitement! The numbers keep coming, the cutting gets intense, you’re totally focused, wishing, praying, hoping….

and then you shout! Just seeing his face at that time is worth it!

I have to admit, Im one of the few ‘damadjees‘ who actually likes spending time with his in-laws, almost as much as I do with her. And no, i am not destined to be a ghar jamai either, nor do i have any aspirations to that end. I prefer being independent and being my own man and caring for my own family, but that doesn’t mean i cant have good relations with them does it? Now if only shuffling all three families was as easy…

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Every so often, i fall in the rut of not blogging. Its not my fault, for the most part, since life is giving me unpredictable twists and turns every so often. But i am going to solve it.

The first step in solving any problem, is actually figuring out what the problem is in the first place. Below, i present an analysis of what my biggest challenges are for blogging here.

1. Too much reading
2. Posting on Metblogs
3. Office work & increased responsibilities
4. Social life
5. Sleep (or rather a state of being unresponsive to stimuli, whether i am awake or not)

Elaborating on each point,

Too much reading
I follow a number of blogs on a daily basis, though over time most of them have become professional or business blogs rather than personal ones. My Google reader feed has over 100 feeds, and in addition, i check out news feeds from Google news & Digg, other blogs from Sphere, IceRocket and Google blogsearch and keep up with a plethora of emails in my inbox. Also, since we have a commenting policy on KMB, a good amount of time is devoted to reading each comment made on my posts, and then editing, moderating them as necessary. Thankfully though, our readers are learning the power of remaining civil and on-topic, so that is mostly just a reading exercise.

Posting on Metblogs
Since a lot of what i follow in the news relates to karachi, the time i have for blogging is then devoted to metblog posts. Also, our team of authors is very active on emails, so reading and replying to them also takes up quite a bit of time.

Office work and increased responsibilities
One of the best things about this job was the work-load. I normally had 200% of the time needed to get jobs done, which gave me ample time to read, write and comment. Not anymore. Following a recent promotion at work (yes, will post on that soon too), i have been given additional responsibilities and then volunteered for some more as well. So now, i have around 80% time to complete tasks which is seriously impeding my ability to read and write.

Social life
Ever since batool entered my life, its been a constant whirlwind. So much so, that every day there’s something new we’re doing, some event we’re attending, social calls on people we know (which is something i never did previously) as well as shopping (who said marrying was easy, more to follow on that). Yesterday was the first day in quite sometime i stayed in and she went out, and realized i missed being with her and going out with her. I am not ashamed to admit, i was a bit sad about that, and will not let that happen again. Side effect of having a social life? Not having enough time to be online when im home, so much so, that i login from home once or twice a week only.

Sleep
Not sleeping enough and not having a schedule to follow plays havoc on a lot of aspects of life. I resisted it till i could, but now realize that i need to have that consistency if i am to work. What happens now is that i spend a lot of time in a state of semi-consciousness, where tiredness keeps me from being productive but sheer ‘zid’ keeps me from resting (and exercising too :p) so im not fresh. Again, seriously eats into my reading, writing habit.

Next step? Tackling each problem and taking them head on! Yea baby! Mansoor is back and he’s going to rock your world!

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